Avatar The Last Air Bender
This Fanfic is about "Mai" (should be Mei) who after loosing her lover - "Fire lord Zuko", is confronted by "Katara" - Firelord Zuko's Wife. The two talk about their deep emotions and hidden feelings about the events that followed the ending of the war.
This piece is written in 3rd person, the author uses very descriptive adjectives and verbs which successfully conveys the characters emotions to the audience. The Last Air Bender is a Cartoon intended for children and younger teenagers, Using sentences such as 'That's why the few times we actually had sex, he called your name instead of mine.' I felt the author took away the innocence of the story.
"Red and Blue" (fanfic about Katara and Zuko)
This fanfic is about Katara and Zuko two characters from "different beginnings" who keep crossing paths and slowly develop a relationship that evolves into love. The characters soon find out each others past and that their love can never be fully realised as they are from two extremes of the scale.
The story is in 3rd person, the author does a good job of describing each scene which allows the reader to enjoy the story and follow each scene. The entire story is saturated in cheesy love story extracts and in my opinion is one big cliche. The author is obviously a love deprived teenager desperately looking for her romeo.
Ty Lees Adventures
This fanfic is about the character TyLee and her sisters, recently orphaned they have joined the circus.
This story is in third person. Although the author is fairly descriptive I felt the whole piece felt very childish, the story had no real substance. But I understand that fanfics are supposed to be short in length and it is hard to weave intricate plots into the story.
The author has apparently never learnt about commas, I thought short sentences were used to build tension so I was expecting a dramatic turn of events... I was sadly disappointed. Throughout the story there is no climax or even lead up to a climax, the story is almost too good to be true. The characters begin by denying the princess of the fire nation and then go on to cure the blind. d(-_-)b ...
Ryuu the lost Fire Bender Chapter 1
This Fanfic is about a young girl Ryuu on the island of "Zangku" where bending is forbidden. Ryuu is fascinated about fire and curiosity gets the better of her.
The piece written in first person is extremely descriptive as well as realistic, this lures the reader in as the scenes are easily visualized. After reading many bland and plot less fanfics I enjoyed reading this piece as I felt it not only had a plot, the author had a decent vocabulary which helped with picturing the story. The author took time to establish the basis of the story which also helps the reader enjoy the story as they understand the background to the story.
Being only the first chapter I felt this was an excellent start to the story and I feel intrigued to search for the next chapters.
Ryuu the Lost Fire Bender Chapter 2
This is the second chapter of the last piece I reviewed. Now the young curious girl Ryuu is invited to join a group of roaming traders to explore the world she has never know, but always dreamed about.
It is again written in first person. There is a lot of good description and feeling in the piece. This being the second chapter and the protagonist is already moving off the explore the world I feel this story is moving at a good pace, keeping the reader interested and enthralled in the story.
A History of Bending Pt.1: The Four Nations "Chapter 1: The First Benders"
This fanfic is about an idea that certain gifted people in the land of the four nations have the god given ability to transform into beasts, these beasts are the where the people learnt their bending from.
The piece is written as an extract out of a book, the level of language and grammar used in this piece is at a high level. Which adds to the realism of reading a book. The idea that the people of the four nations learnt their bending powers by watching and imitating the movements of beasts and symbols of their own cultures, is a lot more believable than random people in each nation are just born gifted. This gives the feeling that what your reading is a real extract from a history book.
The Waterbending Master - beginning extract.
This fanfic is the beginning of a story called " the water bending master" It begins with "Iroh" a disgraced ex general of the fire nation frantically trying to find signs that his nephew (Zuko) survived the explosion that was supposed to be the assassination of Zuko.
The piece is written in third person. I felt the author expanded on his ideas too much, in my opinion the piece could be short end by 200 words to make it slightly less dull and more direct. Fanfic readers generally have background knowledge to original story, So authors shouldn't write too much on the background information.
Avatar Chat Room
This is the authors description of how an Chat room filled with characters from Avatar would turn out.
The author has successfully combined elements of modern society such as cars, cell phones and computers into avatar society which is still very technologically deprived. The author also takes plots from the original story and weaves them into the conversations between the characters which I thought was very clever. Although this piece does not have any substance or plot I felt the author did a good job in writing a more humorous piece. *clap clap*
"Playing Games"
This fanfic is about the characters of avatar having a jovial game of hide and seek.
This author begins with tension -"
My heart pounded against my rib cage violently as I tried to quiet my breathing. The creaking in the hall way was only getting louder, but hope fully it would pass. Keep going. I mentally pleaded with my pursuer, peaking through the slats in the closet in which I was hiding. Just keep- " the excellent adjectives and short sentences added to the tension and gave a feeling of being in danger. Then the author reveals that the protagonist is playing a game of hide and seek, The author does a fantastic job of switching moods.
The author uses a lot of euphemisms and metaphors from the original story which gives a sense of being a real story from the original Avatar.
The Gangs Little 'Vacacion'
This fanfic is about the characters planning a VACATION.
The author obviously has not learned how to use spell check or use capital letters properly. But besides the copious grammatical errors there seems to be evidence of a plot, being only the first piece of the whole story the author does a good job of telling the story and the background in few enough words that fans of Avatar don't get bored reading a story about a vacation where the original story of Avatar is packed with excitement.
This Fanfic is about "Mai" (should be Mei) who after loosing her lover - "Fire lord Zuko", is confronted by "Katara" - Firelord Zuko's Wife. The two talk about their deep emotions and hidden feelings about the events that followed the ending of the war.
This piece is written in 3rd person, the author uses very descriptive adjectives and verbs which successfully conveys the characters emotions to the audience. The Last Air Bender is a Cartoon intended for children and younger teenagers, Using sentences such as 'That's why the few times we actually had sex, he called your name instead of mine.' I felt the author took away the innocence of the story.
"Red and Blue" (fanfic about Katara and Zuko)
This fanfic is about Katara and Zuko two characters from "different beginnings" who keep crossing paths and slowly develop a relationship that evolves into love. The characters soon find out each others past and that their love can never be fully realised as they are from two extremes of the scale.
The story is in 3rd person, the author does a good job of describing each scene which allows the reader to enjoy the story and follow each scene. The entire story is saturated in cheesy love story extracts and in my opinion is one big cliche. The author is obviously a love deprived teenager desperately looking for her romeo.
Ty Lees Adventures
This fanfic is about the character TyLee and her sisters, recently orphaned they have joined the circus.
This story is in third person. Although the author is fairly descriptive I felt the whole piece felt very childish, the story had no real substance. But I understand that fanfics are supposed to be short in length and it is hard to weave intricate plots into the story.
The author has apparently never learnt about commas, I thought short sentences were used to build tension so I was expecting a dramatic turn of events... I was sadly disappointed. Throughout the story there is no climax or even lead up to a climax, the story is almost too good to be true. The characters begin by denying the princess of the fire nation and then go on to cure the blind. d(-_-)b ...
Ryuu the lost Fire Bender Chapter 1
This Fanfic is about a young girl Ryuu on the island of "Zangku" where bending is forbidden. Ryuu is fascinated about fire and curiosity gets the better of her.
The piece written in first person is extremely descriptive as well as realistic, this lures the reader in as the scenes are easily visualized. After reading many bland and plot less fanfics I enjoyed reading this piece as I felt it not only had a plot, the author had a decent vocabulary which helped with picturing the story. The author took time to establish the basis of the story which also helps the reader enjoy the story as they understand the background to the story.
Being only the first chapter I felt this was an excellent start to the story and I feel intrigued to search for the next chapters.
Ryuu the Lost Fire Bender Chapter 2
This is the second chapter of the last piece I reviewed. Now the young curious girl Ryuu is invited to join a group of roaming traders to explore the world she has never know, but always dreamed about.
It is again written in first person. There is a lot of good description and feeling in the piece. This being the second chapter and the protagonist is already moving off the explore the world I feel this story is moving at a good pace, keeping the reader interested and enthralled in the story.
A History of Bending Pt.1: The Four Nations "Chapter 1: The First Benders"
This fanfic is about an idea that certain gifted people in the land of the four nations have the god given ability to transform into beasts, these beasts are the where the people learnt their bending from.
The piece is written as an extract out of a book, the level of language and grammar used in this piece is at a high level. Which adds to the realism of reading a book. The idea that the people of the four nations learnt their bending powers by watching and imitating the movements of beasts and symbols of their own cultures, is a lot more believable than random people in each nation are just born gifted. This gives the feeling that what your reading is a real extract from a history book.
The Waterbending Master - beginning extract.
This fanfic is the beginning of a story called " the water bending master" It begins with "Iroh" a disgraced ex general of the fire nation frantically trying to find signs that his nephew (Zuko) survived the explosion that was supposed to be the assassination of Zuko.
The piece is written in third person. I felt the author expanded on his ideas too much, in my opinion the piece could be short end by 200 words to make it slightly less dull and more direct. Fanfic readers generally have background knowledge to original story, So authors shouldn't write too much on the background information.
Avatar Chat Room
This is the authors description of how an Chat room filled with characters from Avatar would turn out.
The author has successfully combined elements of modern society such as cars, cell phones and computers into avatar society which is still very technologically deprived. The author also takes plots from the original story and weaves them into the conversations between the characters which I thought was very clever. Although this piece does not have any substance or plot I felt the author did a good job in writing a more humorous piece. *clap clap*
"Playing Games"
This fanfic is about the characters of avatar having a jovial game of hide and seek.
This author begins with tension -"
My heart pounded against my rib cage violently as I tried to quiet my breathing. The creaking in the hall way was only getting louder, but hope fully it would pass. Keep going. I mentally pleaded with my pursuer, peaking through the slats in the closet in which I was hiding. Just keep- " the excellent adjectives and short sentences added to the tension and gave a feeling of being in danger. Then the author reveals that the protagonist is playing a game of hide and seek, The author does a fantastic job of switching moods.
The author uses a lot of euphemisms and metaphors from the original story which gives a sense of being a real story from the original Avatar.
The Gangs Little 'Vacacion'
This fanfic is about the characters planning a VACATION.
The author obviously has not learned how to use spell check or use capital letters properly. But besides the copious grammatical errors there seems to be evidence of a plot, being only the first piece of the whole story the author does a good job of telling the story and the background in few enough words that fans of Avatar don't get bored reading a story about a vacation where the original story of Avatar is packed with excitement.
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